I was inspired to write this post after checking out one of my favorite sites - Sociological Images, where I found this great video of Cindy Gallop speaking at the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) Conference last year about her new website, Make Love, Not Porn. She's a very engaging speaker and her topic is slightly racy for the TED Talks but I love her and her topic choice! As an entrepreneur, branding consultant, totally awesome feminist and super confidant sex-positive woman, her position on pornography is unique and poignant. Listen to her speak and then read more after the jump -
First of all - Mad props to Cindy for proudly professing her proclivity for sexing up younger men! But back to the point - she addresses some really important issues.
People of my generation, who are currently in their 20's, have consumed more pornography than any other previous generation, and she experiences the ramifications of this over-exposure in her own sex life, being the fierce cougar she is. The younger men that she has sex with have learned how to have sex through watching porn. She blames our puritanical double-standard culture and the lack of proper sex education by parents and schools for this shift in how we learn sexual behavior. "Its not surprising," she says, "hardcore pornography de-facto has become sex education." She continues by saying that, "...a certain amount of re-education, rehabilitation and re-orientation has to take place." Amen sister. Her description of a particular sex act (listen/watch for yourself!) demonstrates how mainstream porn is really in opposition to the values of sex positive feminism. Her site details the myths and ideas about sexuality, gender and the roles of men and women that mainstream hardcore pornography represent and how this affects the behavior, beliefs and ideas of the people who view this content. She contrasts the way porn portrays sex and how sex happens in real life. She summarizes by saying that, "Because the porn industry is driven by men, funded by men, managed by men, directed by men and targeted at men, porn tends to present one world view. Porn says 'this is the way it is' and what I want to say is, 'not necessarily'."
Like Cindy, I would like to clarify that I am not anti-porn. There is a common misconception that most feminists are sex-negative and anti-porn. Radical feminism is generally in opposition to pornography, claiming that porn exploits women and contributes to male-centered objectification of women. Cindy's website and positions on cultural attitudes toward sex more closely relate to sex-positivity, which celebrates sexual diversity, desires and individual choices based on consent. Porn that is directed, funded, driven and targeted at men does present one world view, and I can see why the radical feminists would feel this kind of content is exploitative of women, but the fact is that not all pornography is/has to be this way.
The ideas that young women (and men!) learn about their sexual role/identity and gender role/identity from mainstream hardcore pornography can sometimes be really twisted, unhealthy and even dangerous. Personally I feel like the words twisted, unhealthy and dangerous should never be used in the same sentence with anything sex related. So I recommend checking out Cindy's site, Make Love Not Porn, and asking yourself what kind of conceptions/misconceptions you might have about sexual behavior and considering where you might have learned these behaviors or acquired these ideas. I cannot stress enough the importance of communicating openly and honestly with your sex partners about what you need/want/like, rather than succumbing to the influence of the ideas about sexual identity conveyed in mainstream pornography and other popular discourse (Magazines, TV, Movies, etc). Our identities are an ever developing amalgamation of the ideas and images that we are exposed to in our daily lives, including our sex lives, and its critical that we ask ourselves what we're learning from our surroundings and how it affects us personally.
People of my generation, who are currently in their 20's, have consumed more pornography than any other previous generation, and she experiences the ramifications of this over-exposure in her own sex life, being the fierce cougar she is. The younger men that she has sex with have learned how to have sex through watching porn. She blames our puritanical double-standard culture and the lack of proper sex education by parents and schools for this shift in how we learn sexual behavior. "Its not surprising," she says, "hardcore pornography de-facto has become sex education." She continues by saying that, "...a certain amount of re-education, rehabilitation and re-orientation has to take place." Amen sister. Her description of a particular sex act (listen/watch for yourself!) demonstrates how mainstream porn is really in opposition to the values of sex positive feminism. Her site details the myths and ideas about sexuality, gender and the roles of men and women that mainstream hardcore pornography represent and how this affects the behavior, beliefs and ideas of the people who view this content. She contrasts the way porn portrays sex and how sex happens in real life. She summarizes by saying that, "Because the porn industry is driven by men, funded by men, managed by men, directed by men and targeted at men, porn tends to present one world view. Porn says 'this is the way it is' and what I want to say is, 'not necessarily'."
Like Cindy, I would like to clarify that I am not anti-porn. There is a common misconception that most feminists are sex-negative and anti-porn. Radical feminism is generally in opposition to pornography, claiming that porn exploits women and contributes to male-centered objectification of women. Cindy's website and positions on cultural attitudes toward sex more closely relate to sex-positivity, which celebrates sexual diversity, desires and individual choices based on consent. Porn that is directed, funded, driven and targeted at men does present one world view, and I can see why the radical feminists would feel this kind of content is exploitative of women, but the fact is that not all pornography is/has to be this way.
The ideas that young women (and men!) learn about their sexual role/identity and gender role/identity from mainstream hardcore pornography can sometimes be really twisted, unhealthy and even dangerous. Personally I feel like the words twisted, unhealthy and dangerous should never be used in the same sentence with anything sex related. So I recommend checking out Cindy's site, Make Love Not Porn, and asking yourself what kind of conceptions/misconceptions you might have about sexual behavior and considering where you might have learned these behaviors or acquired these ideas. I cannot stress enough the importance of communicating openly and honestly with your sex partners about what you need/want/like, rather than succumbing to the influence of the ideas about sexual identity conveyed in mainstream pornography and other popular discourse (Magazines, TV, Movies, etc). Our identities are an ever developing amalgamation of the ideas and images that we are exposed to in our daily lives, including our sex lives, and its critical that we ask ourselves what we're learning from our surroundings and how it affects us personally.
Thank you very much for the great coverage!
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